Thursday, May 27, 2010

Lost: The Sequel

So, after watching the finale of "Lost", I couldn't help but ponder... "What's going to happen some day when ABC inevitably releases 'Lost: The Next Generation'?"  In fact, I stressed over the idea for most of Monday and Tuesday while I was bored at work.  As a result, I concocted the following set of ideas for what I call "The Chandler Treatment" of a Lost sequel series.  ABC, get your checkbooks ready.  We're about to pay a visit to...

"THE ISLAND"

StoryPicks up roughly 25 years after the events depicted in “Lost” finale, “The End”. The descendants of those who came to the island on Oceanic 815 are asked by Benjamin Linus and Hugo Reyes to return to the island to witness the onset of a 153-year cycle described in ruins located at the temple. Among the team assembled, is a bestselling author, a med-school student, an archeologist, a religious scholar, a historian, an industrialist, and a girl looking for answers regarding the death of her parents, as well as others.  Emphasis would be placed on the 153-year event, the island's history, and the island's eventual exposure in the international limelight--the largest catalyst in the sequel series.

Characters (The Children):

Walter “Walt” Lloyd – Walter Lloyd is an internationally-renowned author of a series of books familiarly called “Lost”. His global bestseller “Walkabout”, the second book in the series about survivors of a plane crash on a mysterious island, instantly earned him worldwide intrigue as he focused on a man named “Bentham”, who was in a wheelchair prior to the accident, but can suddenly walk once on the island. Mysteries that include a mysterious monster, polar bears, and strange natives are only a few of the aspects that have riveted audiences from around the world.

But Walt Lloyd is tormented by his past—never knowing what became of his father, Michael Dawson, while being stalked by a relentless detective who claims Walter Lloyd was among those on the manifest of Oceanic 815. And yet, Walter Lloyd, was not one of the infamous “Oceanic Six”—five of whom went missing after the loss of Ajira 316 many years earlier. Walt insists publically that he missed the flight on that fateful day and that Oceanic’s inclusion of him on the manifest was a corporate error, while only his father perished in the flight.

Walt agrees to return to the island as an advisor, on the condition that they won’t fly there and that Hurley is truly in charge of things. He doesn’t trust Ben Linus. More on Walt’s special abilities, including his supposed ability to unconsciously astral-project himself and acute promotions regarding the island, would be addressed.

Aaron Austen-Littleton – Raised by several women, including his grandmother and his mother, Claire, Aaron is a gifted young man who lacks direction. He constantly feels that his life is leading him away from his true calling. Following in his uncle’s (Jack Shepherd) footsteps as a med school student, he is visited one day by a strange man who calls himself Mr. Linus, shortly after the death of his godmother, Kate Austen. Mr. Linus tells Aaron that he is assembling a group of specific people for a mission to an uncharted island of great importance and explains that Aaron has a particular gift that is essential to his needs.

Regarding the “Gift”: Aaron, like the Man in Black, knows things about the island that no one else knows, including how to fix the mysterious wheel at the heart of the island, because he is “special”. More on this would be revealed throughout the series.

Note on Kate Austen: Kate Austen is relentlessly tailed by journalists and conspiracy theorists for the remainder of her life, once returning on the salvaged Ajira 316 with “The Ajira Six” (Richard Alpert, James Ford, Miles Straume, Claire Littleton, and Frank Lapidus). Many believe that she is the sole link connecting that flight with Oceanic 815 and her criminal record is a matter of wide debate. Nevertheless, Aaron Austen recalls that on the day his “other mother” died (in her late 50s of breast cancer), she was the happiest that he had ever seen her, almost as if she were traveling to “a perfect place, bathed in light.”

Note on “Mr. Linus”: Benjamin Linus has not aged either in the last 25 years. Hurley makes him (in essence) the new Richard Alpert. Mr. Linus returns to the mainland bearing a list of people that Hurley has staked out using a renovated version of the island’s lighthouse.

Charles “Charlie” Hume: The heir to the Widmore fortune, Charlie is a wealthy young man in Britain whose life is a contradiction—extremely public while also an enigma. He is reckless and passionate, not unlike his father. He is recruited by Aaron Austen and Mr. Linus because he shares his father’s (Desmond Hume) unique resistance to electromagnetism. The mystery of whatever became of his wealthy grandfather (Charles Widmore) is also a lure used to make him join the mission, strictly against the wishes of his parents.
- Through him, we discover that Desmond eventually left the island using the same boat by which he had arrived.

Note: There is debate as to whether or not Charlie is named after Charlie Pace or his late grandfather, who was never seen again after his last voyage to the island.

Isabella Alpert: Named for his lost wife, Isabella is the daughter of Richard Alpert, who did start to age after leaving the island, but at a somewhat slower rate than expected. He remarried and settled in Los Angeles, determined to live his own life after more than a century of service to others. Isabella is considered a top archeology and history student, and is working on her PHD when she is visited by Mr. Linus, who discovers that the girl already holds some strange opinions about her father’s strange and cryptic past.

Sgt. Clementine “Jamie” Monroe: Is an FBI agent who is brought into the team for security purposes. It is later revealed that she is the daughter of James “Sawyer” Ford, with whom she was reunited after the return of Ajira 316. Sawyer and her “Uncle Miles” taught her everything she knows. Although deeply religious, she takes after her father when it comes to personality.

Ji Yeon Kwon: Would round out the cast of children, joining Aaron’s mission as a volunteer. Mr. Linus is initially reluctant to let her join the quest, because she is not on the list of individuals that Hurley instructed him to receive. However, upon learning of her heritage, he agrees to let her come along. She is on a personal mission to discover whatever became of her parents, Jin and Sun Kwon.

Terrence Spurrier: A European industrialist who blackmails his way into the mission, by connecting all the dots between Benjamin Linus, the Oceanic survivors, and the island. We discover that some of the same men who have been hunting Walt and Aaron and Kate Austen were financed by him. He later reveals himself to be none other than Wilhelm Hanso, the grandson of Alvar Hanso. His primary interest is in unearthing what became of the DHARMA initiative and holding Benjamin Linus accountable for all the people he murdered.

Characters (Returning)

Hugo “Hurley” Reyes: Has been the primary protector of the deserted island for more than twenty-five years. Largely, his time there has been uneventful, although he has returned to the temple and solved several revelations about the island with Ben’s help. For example, he discovers that the nameless Man in Black was not the first smoke monster. He also learns that the light at the heart of the island was not always as divine as others have insinuated. Indeed, the light seems capable of granting to all those who enter it their most profound wish. In the case of dark or evil desires (such as power and greed), the light has a way of consuming individuals and turning them into creatures of smoke.

- However, the light is susceptible to rules and these “rules” form the basis for this series.
- Hurley also delights in considering himself “like Yoda, stuck on Dagobah”.

Note: With regard to the dead souls trapped on the island, we discover that Hurley released many of them, including the spirit of Michael Dawson. Upon learning of Michael’s sacrifice on the freighter, as well as who awaits him in the afterlife (Libby), Hurley frees Michael.

Mr. Linus: Hurley’s personal and professional assistant/mentor. Since Hurley cannot leave the island, Mr. Linus travels on his behalf, amassing a considerable fortune through his front organization Mittelos Bioscience, as well as Hurley’s leftover lottery winnings, which Hurley no longer considers “cursed”.

Characters (New)

Dr. Murtaza “Taz” Qasim: An Egyptian and Muslim scholar who has discovered an ancient myth linked to documents salvaged from the library of Alexandria that connects archaic Egypt to the strange island. He has searched his whole life in vain for the island, believing it to be somewhere in the Mediterranean (where it was located eons ago when Egyptians discovered it and built the statue of Tawaret, which is also the name by which ancient Egyptians had referred to the island in lost scriptures). He comments in his notes that it is almost as if the island were moving—not knowing how correct he is about the theory. When he is offered an opportunity by Mr. Linus to study the island firsthand, he leaps at the opportunity.

Dr. Jasmin Gupta: An Indian Hindu living in London, she is brought onto the mission as its primary religious scholar. Malik is selected also because of her language skills, which include fluent English, German, Arabic, Hindi, and ancient Latin. She is widely considered a genius in her field and has been published in numerous magazines and scholarly journals.

Alo: Known almost exclusively as “Alo”, which is a Hopi word for “spiritual guide”, this Native American serves as the only medium among the crew. The intellectuals on the mission would mock his so-called ability if they weren’t so damned afraid of him. Little do they know that he does more than communicate with ghosts—he is also running from them.

Peter Noble: The captain of the freighter which takes them all back to the island.

Plot

We discover that Hurley was brought to the island, not only as a candidate to replace Jacob, but because of his lifelong encounters with the strange series of numbers (4,8,15,16,23,42). He determines that the numbers have many meanings across the island.

- They denote a number attached to each of the six wells on the island. The wells indicate the six most concentrated energy pockets on the island and the number of years in between “high volatility interims”. For instance, the Swan Station was built on top of “The Four-Year Well”, otherwise known as the most erratic of the electromagnetism pockets across the island. The wells were constructed as venting mechanisms for the island’s energy, based on yearly cycles:

Well #1: 4 Years
Well #2: 8 Years
Well #3 and 4: Alternating 15 and 16 year cycles
Well #5: 23 Years
Well #6: 42 Years

- The Swan Station’s construction, however, left “The Four-Year Well” even more chaotic. This is why they initiated a containment protocol to vent its energy more frequently and prevent a meltdown on a global scale.
The numbers can also be read as 4,815,162,342 seconds, which Hurley and Ben pinpoint as being roughly 153 years, as they lack a frame of reference to determine precisely when the second-based countdown began. These seconds countdown to a specific event that takes place on the island every 153 years—one that is referenced inside the temple and appears to have been recurring through much of the island’s history.

Mr. Linus begins assembling a team to return to the island in anticipation of the event’s next arrival. In keeping with what made “Lost” so spectacular, it is essential that this team be a culturally and religiously diverse team. They will arrive at the island via a new freighter, and we discover that Walt has not stepped foot on an airplane since leaving the island.

The Event

-  As they soon discover, the event is an episode that occurs every 153 years in which the island is catapulted backwards hundreds and hundreds of years to its origins. However, this event requires so much electromagnetic energy that it threatens to unleash immense energy signatures throughout the world. Preventing this “leech effect” is one of the main reasons for assembling the team.  Jacob lived through at least 2 of these cycles, but the impact of the energy leech was less eventful due to the lack of global industrialization and technology.

-  Unfortunately, they are unsuccessful and the island leaps back in time, while also sending electromagnetic shockwaves around the world that cause havoc for several major cities… (more on this in just a bit) 

History of the Island

-  In the past, we discover that the island is inhabited by a tribe of people who mostly came there while fleeing religious persecution. Some arrived by boat, some were stranded at sea and swam there, while others wandered onto the island, indicating that it had been attached to land for certain brief periods. All of these “natives” believe that they, too, were brought to the island for a purpose and echo some of the very same sentiments addressed in “Lost” that the island serves as an eternal battleground between good and evil. Before delving deeper into the nature of these inhabitants, however, it is important to address a few other important matters.

The Light and The Smoke Monsters: As we discovered in “Lost”, there is a mysterious light at the heart of the island—one which exerts a particular electromagnetic signature akin to nothing else on Earth, and one which has been devoutly defended by chosen protectors since ancient times. This light is less divine, however, than some have been led to believe. In truth, the light corresponds with an idea pervasive in the early seasons of “Lost”—that the island sometimes grants to its inhabitants those things which their hearts most desire. The light is the mechanism through which this takes place.

-  For those who are worthy and noble, the light grants those “chosen” that one desire.
-  For those who are deemed of evil and selfish character, the light traps them within a dark and corrupted stream of ash and smoke which serves as the lens for them to examine (and be tortured by) their own vile nature, as well as the character of those whom the smoke encounters. These “reflections” sometimes appear as flashes within the smoke itself and smoke monsters are often driven to seek out those who they can easily manipulate (John Locke, Ben Linus) or those who could potentially be turned into smoke monsters, also (Mr. Eko, before his spiritual redemption). The Man in Black was one of these smoke monsters but he was far from the first. Indeed, there have been moments in time when several smoke monsters roamed the island at once.
-  The light is nigh infallible, however, and if a smoke monster were to leave the island, it would nullify the light’s offerings and corrupt it forever. Fortunately, when Jack Shepherd was consumed by the light, his sacrifice served to reinforce the mechanisms that would imprison any future smoke monsters. Note: The protectors of the island, chosen to protect the light at its heart, serve the purpose of keeping away all those who may be corrupted into smoke monsters in the future.

History of the Island (Cont.): For the island’s natives, the 153-year cycle is less precise. Sometimes the cycle’s duration amounts to only weeks or months. At other times, the cycle is experienced as a year or several years (but never more than the longest cycle of four-years). The reasons for this are complicated. Eventually, the original inhabitants discovered the light and began to suspect its abilities. What they could not guess, however, was what it would do to the corrupted among them. Soon, they were bombarded with smoke monsters who would assume the guises of their dead and terrorize them without end.

Indeed, the only means by which they could impeded the smoke monsters was to scatter the ashes of their dead through the jungle—forming an impassable partition through the middle of the island that would protect the light and the natives from the smoke creatures.

One worthy native, whose name was John, went into the cave and entered into the light source wishing for an end to the smoke monsters. The light source replied to him in an ethereal voice that he could hear only his mind. His wish to end the smoke monsters could not be fulfilled, however, because the smoke monsters were deemed necessary punishments for the sins of trespassers into the light. He would discover, also, that one must be willing to claim his own life in order to have his wish desired—in order to prove that it is his innermost want. John stabbed himself in the chest and wished once more that an answer might come to his people, in time.

As a result, the island returns to roughly that point in time every 153 years along with anyone trapped on the island during each cycle, in hopes that future inhabitants of the island may have solved the smoke monster dilemma. Even Jacob met with these inhabitants once long ago, although only briefly and he never saw them again once they discovered he had no solution for their dilemma.

Thus, Jack Shepherd is the first person to ever successfully kill a smoke monster and Hurley was a witness to how he did it. However, Hurley and Benjamin Linus do not know that this is why the island has been traveling backwards in time intermittently in specific cycles. They are only aware that the island will travel back in time and that messing with the wheel embedded into the source will cause this time travel mechanism to skip. Thus, the team is assembled primarily with the hope that they may be able to learn more about the island’s past. They have no idea the scope of the adventure they are about to endure.

By the time that the mission team arrives, the natives they encounter already speak Latin and English, having learned it from the time travelers they have encountered in their quest to defeat “The Smoke”. There are some who still speak their native tongues, also, but Latin and English is fairly common among them. This explains why the woman who murdered Jacob and MIB’s mother already spoke both languages fluent. In a way, these two languages come to embody a sort of code amongst keepers of the island—a rite of passage.

While in the past, the mission team learns untold secrets about the island and helps the natives combat the smoke monsters isolated on the other half of the island. When they return, however, they are met with the realization that they were unable to prevent the “electromagnetic leech effect” and that several major cities around the world were directly affected by their failure. Suddenly, many nations around the world—including some with nefarious purposes—are able to pinpoint the island’s location, just as Penny and Charles Widmore’s teams had. The wheel finally breaks and the people on the island are left knowing that governments and media from around the world are coming for them. Hurley feels like he has failed as the island’s protector, but Ben assures him that they’ll be ready.

With Regard to “The End”

It is also Hurley who elaborates on Jack Shepherd’s experience in the pool of light located in the heart of the island. In the 25 years that Hurley spends on the island, he reveals that he has the unexpected opportunity to speak with Jack’s ghost. We discover that Hurley and Ben eventually found Jack’s body and buried him on that exact spot in the bamboo grove. When Walt asks whatever became of his dog, Vincent, Hurley reveals that their favorite pet lived for five more years after the events depicted in “The End” before also dying peacefully beside Jack’s grave.

- During the conversation with Jack, the ghost reveals to Hurley that the island spoke to him while he was in the light (the same voice that had spoken to the mysterious John, eons earlier). It vowed to fulfill Jack’s innermost desire, although he won’t say what it is. This desire, typical of Jack, was to save everyone he had lost—to create a place where none of the unspeakable things that took place on the island ever occurred. However, Jack confesses that he has not yet made it to that “place”. He is waiting for all the others to arrive first.

- At some point, we would bear witness to Richard Alpert’s death. He would suddenly awaken in a Spanish pasture, looking the way he did all those years on the island. When he opens his eyes, there is a horse standing over him. He smiles and climbs onto its back. The stallion quickly races through the field and over the hillsides, until it arrives at a tiny cottage overlooking cliffs and the sea, where Isabella (his wife) is there waiting for him.

How “The Island” Would Begin

• In the opening sequence, we see a man running in a terrified frenzy through the jungle—a fairly typical “Lost” setup. As the camera pans up, we find that it is an African-American man who looks to be in his mid-30s. Soon, we hear the familiar roar of the island’s “monster” bulldozing the trees behind him as the chase takes the unnamed human past a familiar shoe dangling in the jungle, through a shallow stream, and back into the trees. Suddenly, we see what is chasing him—three violent clouds of smoke are winding their ways through the jungle at his back, closing in on him quickly. In an instant, their shadows engulf him.

• In an instant, we glimpse a close-up of the man’s eye blinking. He is now in a luxurious hotel room, awakening in a bedroom and looking around—seemingly unfamiliar with his surroundings. As he leaves the bed, he wanders around the room and inspects the many amenities that the hotel affords. He is not accustomed to the high-life and can’t help but smile at the absurdity of what fortune his adulthood has granted him. Next, he is well-dressed and ducking into a limousine on his way to a book-release at the largest bookstore in the city.

• He is introduced as author Walter Lloyd by a woman on a loudspeaker as he sits behind a table surrounded by fans of his series—“Losties”. They ask him such questions as “Why polar bears?” and “How is it that the character Bentham can suddenly walk on the island?” and “Is any of this really going anywhere??” Walt answers their questions with a kind but allusive smile, while signing their autographs.

• Soon, he is confronted by a strange man in a business suit who dangles a microphone in front of Walt’s face. He is interrogated about his role in the crash of Oceanic 815 and asked to corroborate his story one last time with the testimonies of “The Oceanic Six” years earlier. This frustrates Walt, but he (just barely) manages to keep his cool. Soon, the man is asked to leave.

(Elsewhere)

• A blonde man of about 28 years is dressing himself in a suit and tie in front of a mirror. He combs his hair and there is deep sadness in his stare. Before long, there is a knock on his door and Claire Littleton (his mother) is welcomed into the room. She addresses him as Aaron and asks if he is ready. Silently, he nods and they exit.

• They are in a car in Los Angeles and we gather that they are driving to a funeral. Claire attempts to cheer Aaron up by asking him how he did on a recent med-school test. He “aced it” even though he barely studied, being too preoccupied with the matter of the death of the person to whose funeral they are in transit. Claire tells him that his uncle would be proud. This does little to cheer him up as he never knew his uncle.

• When they arrive at the funeral, we discover that it is for none other than Kate Austen, who died young from breast cancer. The irony that Kate would die of such a disease after all the times she dodged death on the island is written only in Claire Littleton’s face. Aaron stands beside the casket and there is the faint glisten of a tear in his eye as he weeps for his “other mother”. We learn that Claire and Kate helped raise him together and the three were very close.

• As they stand there, they both recall how happy she was when she died. Her face had glowed with contentment for the first time in months.

• Later, several men arrive who Aaron does not recognize. One seems more shaken by Kate Austen’s death than the others and Aaron confronts him. He introduces himself as James and remarks on how much “the Gerber baby” grew up, but leaves shortly thereafter with Miles Straume. Desmond Hume is also in attendance for the funeral.

• Finally, Benjamin Linus enters, although he stays near the back of the room so that none of the others would see him. Unlike them, he has not aged a single day.

...That's as far as I got with planning the first episode.  It's not like I'm writing the thing...yet.  But that's my pitch in a nutshell.  Holy Balls, how long was that?  I feel like I just blacked out for the last hour.  God knows if any of it even makes sense.  Anyway, enjoy, Bloggers, and let me know how far I missed the mark.  I'm sure some of you will anyway.  But at least I'm offering answers to some of your questions about the island, which is more than "Lost" did at the end of the day.  In the meantime, I'll hope that one day this version of the story is told at length.  How would you all continue the series?  (I'm aware that as I'm posing this question, I only have one follower, but hopefully more of you will show up in response to this).  How about it?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Thoughts on the finale of "Lost"

I love it when Hollywood makes the sequel first...

"Lost" ended last night and I'm pleased to see that the powers behind it were smart enough to reestablish a simple truth that has been central since Season One:  "Lost" is about the characters, not the island.  After all, they're the ones who are "Lost"; not the island.  That said, WHAT THE FUCK'S WITH THAT ISLAND?  I guess now we'll never know.  J.J. Abrams sure as hell didn't have a clue.  The guys who he left in charge of the island couldn't figure it out.  At the end of the day, the island is as it always was:  An enigma, and a damn fine one.

I'll be honest.  I was hoping for a flawless and focused wrap up akin to "Battlestar Galactica", which fobbled only gently while delivering a very powerful and satisfying conclusion that tied up most of its strings.  Unfortunately, "Lost" has more holes in it than the Battlestar herself by the time the dust finally settled in that conclusion.  Despite what people may think or believe, "Lost" has more contradictions, half-truths, ambiguities, and just plain moments of gibberish than the Bible itself (sorry, Christian Shepherds, but it's true).  Fortunately, "The End" is told so well and the performances are so spot on (how anyone else on television could muster an Emmy nod next year will be beyond me; "Lost" should sweep all its respective categories IMHO) that all its faults are outweighed by the tremendous and emotional ride we have taken these past six years.

I don't need to recap it.  If for some reason you're reading this (which means you're reading my blog...weird) and you give a shit enough that you're STILL reading this, then you've probably seen the episode.  Maybe you're not the "Lost" fan, I am, but you're probably informed enough.  Rather than rehashing this episode, however, all I will say is that coming into Season 6, I thought "Lost" was just about perfect.  Season 6 proved me wrong.  I will probably always hold it as the weakest of the series behind the snoozefest that was most of Season 3, and yet I was no less captivated.  Season 6 intrigued me but seldom blew me away and left me more frustrated than any other season (read: "Across the Sea").  It highlighted the series' most common flaws, including that, at the end of the day, "Lost" has never been able to directly answer almost anything about the island's core mysteries.

"The End" did not disappoint.  At least not entirely.

If Lost's finale were truly judged on its ability to answer some of the island's key mysteries (the statue, the smoke monster, the lighthouse, the donkey wheel, etc.) it probably pissed off a ton of people.  The statue still has no history (would it have mattered if it did, though)?  We still have no real idea why the hell the smoke monster was so damn scary or what exactly it was in the first place (if Jack hadn't killed it, would the afterlife for the survivors really have been comprimised and, if so, why?).  We don't know who built the lighthouse, how Jacob came to operate it, or ditto about the temple.  The donkey wheel continues to be about the strangest part of the series, and God only knows how anybody (Ben or Locke) had any clue as to how that thing would work.  I could throw theories at you on any of these matters, based on the episodes in which they are referenced but "Lost" never told you upfront.  We are still left very ignorant about the history of the island itself, how it operated, or what the hell electromagnetism really has to do with anything.

(Breath.)

What we do know is that everyone, with the exception of any black, male actor on the show (think about it...no Mr. Eko, no Michael, no Walt, no Matthew Abbadon in the finale) found his or her happy ending in the end.  I wasn't very happy with the resurrection of the Sayid/Shannon love arc considering all the emphasis that "Lost" has placed throughout the years on Nadia being Sayid's TRUE love, but many of the characters were closed out perfectly.  With regard to Sayid, I guess I have to look at his ending in the context of an afterlife.  I think his perfect world would have been being surrounded by those people he loved most.  In losing Nadia and being with Shannon, he gained Nadia, as well as his brother, who had both perished. In the end, all those whom he loved most were restored.  Bliss.

This leads me to my primary gripe about the finale.  Although the episode clocked in at 2 1/2 hours, I could have used about 15 minutes more to show that life on the island actually meant something.  There were survivors!  It would have been nice to have seen some reference to what happened to those who survived life on the island (Ben, Hurley, Desmond, Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Miles, Frank, and Richard).  We never got to see Claire reunited with Aaron in the real world.  We never got to see Desmond and Penny finally get to raise Baby Charlie.  We never got to see Kate and Sawyer awkwardly realize that they outlived Jack and Juliet and remember their jungle passion. Nor did we even get to see Richard as an older man with longer hair arriving at his own paradise somewhere on a Spanish villa to be reunited with his lost love.

Betting the whole island on the flash sideways without some of this linear timeline closure kinda left a bad taste.  However, there's your material for sequels and movies.  For example, what's gonna happen when some wacky scientist builds a dinosaur themepark on the island with, get this...REAL FUCKING DINOSAURS!  Suck on it, Smoke Monster.

Ultimately, the finale's success rested on the actors' shoulders and Matthew Fox, for me, has cemented his Emmy award for best actor.  I don't think it can be argued that he turned in his best work this season.  He sold the evolution of the show's protagonist and I felt like Fox had been hitting the same notes for a while when it came to Jack.  In Season 6, though, the character was almost completely reinvented and I can't name the number of scenes that Fox absolutely nailed.  Breaking down on the beach after the submarine sank?  Gold.  The long-awaited reunion with his father at the closing of the series?  The fabric of dreams, my friends.  Even Jorge Garcia pushed Hurley to the edge of what we'd come to expect of his character, and Terry O'Quinn explored everything that was best about two different characters throughout the series.  Honest to God, there should be no less than five or six acting nominations come out of this season alone, which I find ironic given my mixed emotions about the substance of the final season.
Those are my thoughts for now.  I'm sure I'll be back with more opinions as I digest the conclusion.  Hopefully it will be a while before we're met with the inevitable "Lost: The Next Generation" or a Lost motion picture.  Still, I'm left satisfied while also wanting more.  A year from now, I think it's finally going to hit me that this epic series is actually over.


"Iron Man 2" Review

It's a "Man" and he's "Ironing".  Get it?

Before I even begin my official review, I would like to take a second to address the scores of reviews I've already ready by people who make more money watching movies than I could ever dream of making.  Most of them aren't even good at it.  Most of them don't even seem to enjoy movies.  They just landed the gig of a lifetime and that's that.  I can deal.  But I'm absolutely baffled by the negativity surrounding "Iron Man 2".  Sure it's rocking a 71% right now on the Tomatometer, but I've seen reviews as low as 1 to 2 1/2 stars.  Simply put, "Iron Man 2" is better than that.  It's not perfect, but only because it strives to be.  At times, the film seems to want it too much.

I saw the movie alone this afternoon.  I knew my Marvel experience was going to be complete when The Blob from "X-Men" sat right in front of me.  I almost geeked out, until I realized it was just a morbidly obese Kentuckian.  Anyhoo, I wallowed in the cryptic goodness of the "Super 8" trailer and got goosebumps listening to Tony Stark's final and revealing press conference from the end of the first film, this time played over the Marvel logo and the introductory credits.  The real trick, however, is that the press announcement is being watched by a shadowy Russian, one who loathes the Stark empire, amidst his father's death in a Moscow slum.  Half-empty vodka bottles abound.  There is a grime on everything in the room (except the bird) that seems born of Ivan Vanko's hatred itself.

Thus, I'll begin with my only real problem with the film, as this introductory exposition of the film's main protagonist perfectly illustrates it:  The movie's pacing.  There is so much crammed into "Iron Man 2" that the audience is given no time to savor any of the beauty and intrigue that Favreau and his team cracked up, and let me tell you there are Easter Eggs all over this puppy (Cap's shield!).  Ivan Vanko's story feels rushed.  Every conversation between Tony and Pepper is snappy, sharp, but over much too soon; there's chemistry there that pops with so much hurry that I couldn't help but feel, during every dialogue between them, that they were rushing to something more important or fun just around the corner.  Scenes with Tony reminiscing about his father seem to be missing just a second or two in their dramatic rhythm that would have really helped us key in on Tony's attitude regarding his self-destructive behavior.  The movie seems so eager to show us what is has in store next, that the audience is left to keep up at the expense of savoring every bite; kinda like the way Americans eat food. 

At the end, we wonder why "Wait, it's all gone?"

Also, the scenes with Samuel L. Jackson, while setting up cool foreshadowing of "The Avengers" lack a bit more context that would really give Nick Fury and his intentions some weight.  In a movie where we are led to believe that Iron Man has this crumbling monopoly on world peace exploited by a few punk terrorists and scientific geniuses with a lush for wealth and crime, we never quite understand why Nick Fury needs Iron Man.  We never quite understand why Nick Fury needs this "team" he's setting off to accrue.  There is no sense of impending danger to match Fury's calls for a superhuman all-star squad.  And then there's Black Widow, who is hot and awesome in her one action scene, but feels sort of like an afterthought tacked on just to show how smoking Scarlett Johannson looked in her costume.

Unfortunately, Scarlett in "G.I. Joe" was still hotter.

I mean, let's step back from "Iron Man 2" and you'll see just how jam-packed it really is.  You've got Justin Hammer, Whiplash/Crimson Dynamo, Tony's alcoholism, Tony's self-destruction, the Pepper Potts romantic interest, War Machine, Hammer Drones, The Stark Expo, Black Widow, Nick Fury, Avengers References, the whole thing with Senator Gary Shandling, and somehow tons of great character development still ties it all together along with some memorable set pieces, the usual snappy one-liners, some first-rate storytelling, and a unique comic book world in which Robert Downey Jr. lords over all creation it seems.  Simply put, it really is too much at times. 

In "Iron Man 3", I would like to see them scale back a bit and focus on one nemesis (The Mandarin) and delve more in Tony Stark's demons, a'la "The Dark Knight".  This shouldn't be too difficult, seeing as how "The Avengers" will have been gearing up by the time of its release and "IM3" won't need to be yet another exhibition vehicle for that story arc.  Cutting Nick Fury, the Avengers references, and teasers will lean up this franchise tremendously and in a number of important ways.  Hopefully, the Mandarin will be portrayed by an actor of tremendous integrity (speaking of which, has a Chinese actor ever been nominated for an Oscar?) and John Favreau will learn how to close a movie between now and 2012. 

In other words, "Iron Man 2" would have been better if we'd gotten to see more of Michey Rourke's and Sam Rockwell's superb co-villainy and "Iron Man 3" better not end with the Mandarin inventing some kind of larger, angrier-looking suit in which to combat Iron Man.

All said, I'd give "Iron Man 2" about 3 1/2 out of 5 stars, and 4 stars on the "fun"ometer.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

"Saturday Night Live" Revived: A List of Hosts So Brilliant I Would Actually Watch "SNL" to See Them

Like an obese friend who swears "Oh, yeah...I could totally run a 5K" or that borderline alcoholic chum who promises that he won't be drinking at tonight's party of the year, telling anyone that you plan to watch all 90 minutes of "Saturday Night Live" these days may very well be biting off more than you can chew.  Unless you're simply a compulsive sadist (and I know that some of you are), sitting through four MacGruber sketches, any of the fifteen eerily-similar Kristen Wiig characters, and virtually any skit that involves the loveable but mostly unamusing Kenan Thompson is enough to make more than a few people opt to watch "The Human Centipede" rather than "SNL". 

Sure the show has had highlights in recent years:  Tina Fey's dead-on Sarah Palin impression.  Will Ferrell's immortal George W. Bush.  Roughly one in five "Digital Shorts" are actually pretty funny.  But, in general, the show no longer seems to try the way it once did.  Premises and characters are constantly recycled, regardless of how many chuckles they elicited the first time (read: "Target Lady", "Gilly", "Hota and Kathie Lee", "What Up With That?", "The Lawrence Welk Show", etc.), and seldom do the actors even seem to bother learning their lines or even determining exactly how they plan to make the sketch memorable.  A painful lack of the show's classic originality and genuine social/entertainment observations only round out the show's 21st Century decline.  On the plus side, "SNL" has hit rock-bottom before and I hope that there will always be a future for the show.

Accordingly, I was perusing the "Internets" and found several lists of "Dream Hosts" that a few bloggers hoped would rejuvenate Saturday Night Live.  Most of them were just plain awful.  For example, one guy listed "Benjamin Franklin", as if it would be a good idea to take one of history's most reputable statesmen and quick wits and subject him to the hit-and-miss labors of sketch comedy.  Another person listed "Katt Williams" as their NUMBER ONE pick for stars who need to host SNL.  Against the vast wealth of thespians and comedians from which to choose, this person chose the veritable offspring of D.L. Hughley and Lil' Wayne.  I'm not saying Katt Williams doesn't make me chuckle on occasion, but THAT'S YOUR NUMBER ONE??  But I digress.

The following...is my dream list.

15.  Johnny Depp - Would probably be a bit of a heavyweight for the current cast of the show, but then the same could be said of almost everyone on my list.  As much as I would love to see Depp host, I simply cannot imagine it.  What kind of sketch would they put him in, aside from the inevitable "Pirates" rip-off?  I'd love to see him host, but only if he was allowed to pick the musical act that accompanies him, as well.

14.  Sam Rockwell - This seems like a more feasible pick.  Rockwell's proven his range in everything from "Choke" to "Moon" and "Iron Man 2", as well as his comedy chops in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and "Galaxy Quest".  He's a real talent.  Too good to waste on "SNL", in fact, but I'd still watch it.  Sounds like he'd be a good guest for "Laser Cats: Part 11", or whatever the hell they're on.

13.  John Cusack - His sister was on the show, but I was surprised to discover that Mr. Cusack has never hosted.  I imagine that, like all John Cusack films, any episode he hosted would be "So-so, but John Cusack was good in it".  Seems appropriate for Saturday Night Live.

12.  Cloris Leachman - Forget Betty White.  This is the host I'd suffer 90 minutes of "SNL" to see, but only if she gets to host with "Bone Thugs N Harmony".

11.  David Beckham & Brett Favre - Doing double-duty.  I imagine they would host at least once and then swear never to do it again, only to host the following season.  Also, Beckham would sprain his ankle halfway through the show...and choke on the final sketch.

10.  Samuel L. Jackson - The man only hosted once in 1998 with Ben Folds Five.  That should tell you just how long it's been.  The song "Brick" was a chart-topper.  Also, Samuel L. Jackson had yet to complete some of his best work to date, including "Snakes on a Plane" and "Deep Blue Sea".  How can you not make a good episode out of a universally-beloved star who is practically a caricature of himself??

9.  John Cleese - Eric Idle and Michael Palin were regular hosts back in "SNL"'s early years, but John Cleese never made more than a cameo somewhere in the 90s, at least to my knowledge.  He's not exactly in prime form nowadays, but I'd still love to see him pop in for a night.

8.  Leonardo DiCaprio - Here's someone who has plenty of room to laugh at himself, while also being a hugely talented actor.  Say what you will, you know it's true.

7.  Philip Seymour Hoffman - Seems like a no-brainer.  The man can do anything.

6.  Harrison Ford - As bad as "Saturday Night Live" is, it would still be among the most watchable things Harrison Ford has been a part of in years.  He seems a bit grumbly now in his old years, but it blows my mind that he never hosted.  I'm not sure he has a penchant for comedy, but it would still be nice to see him take a swing at "SNL" to promote "Cowboys and Aliens".  At the very least, I would watch it just for how surreal it would be to see him host.

5.  Brad PItt - Again, seems like a no brainer.  Brad Pitt can be absolutely hilarious (read: "Inglourious Basterds") and he has no trouble being the butt of a joke.  If "Saturday Night Live" had better writers, I'd rank this potential host even higher.

4.  Meryl Streep - By herself.  Lose the rest of the cast for a night.  I want Meryl Streep and only Meryl Streep carrying the entire show.  With musical guest:  Seal...played by Meryl Streep (WHAT?!?).

3.  Christoph Waltz - This must happen.

2.  Stephen Colbert - A consistent contributor to the show for years, it's time he finally got his due.  This is among the few hosts who simply could not be unfunny, regardless of the material.

1.  Robert Downey Jr. - Okay, I know he already hosted in 1996 with Fiona Apple, but here's another example (like Samuel L. Jackson...hey!  He was Nick Fury!) of someone whose musical guest accompaniment should tell you just how long it's been since he last took the stage at "SNL".  Since Robert Downey Jr. hosted, he has been busted and arrested for drugs countless times, served a year in prison, made a couple of botched attempts to save his career, been widely frowned upon by the entire country, released a poorly-received musical album (look it up if you don't believe me), and climbed forth from the refuse of his own mistakes to become one of the world's most beloved leading men.  He has been perfect in two "Iron Man" films and earned an Oscar nod for "Tropic Thunder", a movie that didn't exactly scream Oscar contender at the time of its relase.  If "Saturday Night Live" is to be revived, who better than a former SNL alum and someone who has finally revived his own career and become a veritable superstar?  This one just makes sense.